As I was clicking around on Etsy (the usual), I came across this really cute idea, "Blind date with..." I purchased my Blind Date With a Horror Movie here. (I also purchased a book version from a different seller, but I won't be posting about it.) The way this was packaged is adorable.
The package includes one movie (you don't know what you're getting, so it's like a mystery box which is not my favorite thing ever, but I thought the idea was really cute so I bought it anyway), skincare masks, tea, stickers, popcorn and flowers. It's a nice setup for a selfcare night. As far as the product itself goes, I would give this 5 stars. The seller did a nice job with the presentation, which is really why I bought it. So what I'm about to say is not a reflection on the seller in any way. It's about the movie.
I realize I don't always give horror movies a fair shot. So this time, I did everything I needed to do to get me in the horror spirit (which basically means I turned the lights off, burned some candles and made popcorn - not the microwave popcorn the movie came with). I would love to say that after all of that, I went into watching Survival of the Dead with an open mind, but I didn't. Zombie movies aren't usually my thing (with the exception of Train to Busan, Shaun of the Dead and My Boyfriend's Back). I figured, at least this one is only 90 minutes, that's short enough to not make me completely hate my life, right? Wrong.
Survival of the Dead was written and directed by George A. Romero...I'm confused. I know he made Night of the Living Dead, and while I personally don't care for that movie, I know a lot of people love it, it's generally regarded as a great horror film and probably considered to be the best zombie film by most people who have seen it. So...where did this movie come from? At least Night of the Living Dead is tolerable. This is not. (Neither was his script for Resident Evil. It may have been slightly better than Paul W.S. Anderson's film, but that doesn't make it good.) The zombie makeup is on par with House of the Dead. So is the acting. The whole thing looks like a Syfy movie, bad special FX and all. There's an introduction from George A. Romero where he says it's a horror movie, but "it has some funny moments, so don't forget to laugh." And listen, I'm going to be honest with you, I only made it through 16 minutes of this movie, but I didn't find a single second of it amusing. I feel horrible being so mean about it because he seems so happy in his intro.
From the little bit of this movie that I was able to get through, there are two clans. Families. Whatever. The O'Flynns, who want to kill all the zombies and the Muldoons, who want to protect them in case anyone ever discovers a cure. I immediately hated all of these people. Both sides. It doesn't even matter which side is right, they're all unlikable and I hope they all get eaten by the end of the movie (but I don't care enough to find out if they do). It seems like there's a Walking Dead situation where people are turning into zombies regardless of how they die. Which leads me to a question I hadn't thought of before, but I'm thinking about now...
These "Dead" movies aren't all in the same universe, right? Because if they are, it doesn't make any sense. In Night of the Living Dead, didn't everyone just claw their way out of their coffins one night? It wasn't like they were hit by a car, buried, and then came back to life because everyone on earth was already infected with the zombie virus. How many of these movies are there? Night, Day, Dawn, Land, Survival...Why haven't the zombies just eliminated the human race already? Can that be the next movie? So that no more can ever be made.
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