Pumpkin Cinema by Nathaniel Tolle

Pumpkin Cinema is a Halloween lover's dream. If you're looking for the perfect film to celebrate your favorite holiday, all you need to do is open this book to any page and you're set. I'm going to say the same thing I always say, no one can convey the feeling of Fall and Halloween the way Ray Bradbury did, but Nathaniel Tolle comes very close in his introduction and I'm impressed. I almost forgot I was reading it on an 80+ degree day in July (I know, this post is going up in August). Nathaniel really gets the spirit of Halloween. I would love to go to a Halloween party he was throwing because I bet it would be the most fun, ever. And I'm saying this as a person with social anxiety who doesn't do parties or social gatherings.

The book is organized alphabetically, beginning with movies and ending with "fun-sized" films and  TV specials/episodes, as well as various top 5 lists. Included for each film are the title (of course), year of release, director, cast, length, rating, a brief synopsis and art for some features (including lobby cards, film stills, press kit photos, a TV GUIDE - where did he even get this??, postcards, promo photos and DVD covers). You're given all the information you need to make an informed decision on your creature feature for Halloween night.

Nathaniel Tolle followed some strict guidelines when he was writing this book, because there are so many creepy movies to choose from, somehow they needed to be narrowed down. These are the rules he followed:

1. It has to be fun to watch.
2. It cannot repeatedly present seasons, locations, and weather that contrast with autumn. (This explains why The Thing, one of the greatest horror films ever made, isn't included.)
3. It cannot have a running time of over two hours.
4. It cannot be mean spirited and cruel.
5. If it is not scary, then it has to be directly associated with Halloween.
6. If it is a sequel, it has to make sense to those who have never seen the original.
7. It must have a fairly quick pace. (Nosferatu and Dracula are excluded for being boring. Nathaniel doesn't use that word, but I am, even though, artistically, I appreciate Nosferatu. The story of Dracula, regardless of which version it is, has never been interesting to me. So I 100% agree with him here. People will fall asleep if you play either of these films.)

I've seen many of the movies included in Pumpkin Cinema and the ones I would personally recommend are Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Arsenic and Old Lace, Bride of Frankenstein, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Cabin in the Woods, Daffy Duck's Quackbusters, 1408, Frankenstein, The Halloween Tree, House on Haunted Hill, In the Mouth of Madness, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The Midnight Hour, the Monster Squad, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Suspiria, Disney's Halloween Treat (I have this, as well as some other Halloween specials on this list, on an old VHS tape that my dad recorded forever ago) and Tom and Jerry's Halloween Special.

If I could add a few films to the book, they would be Horror Hotel, 13 Ghosts, The Fog (the original), The Wolf Man and Oculus (to be fair, that film was probably released after the book was published). And Waxwork! I think it's really interesting that he included Waxwork 2, but not the first film. It's one of the few things I disagree with Nathaniel Tolle on, but I hated the sequel. Waxwork is a fun movie though.

I appreciate the reference made to The Tingler in the plot summary of House on Haunted Hill, as well as discussing William Castle's knack for showmanship (his films were always an event and for House on Haunted Hill, he had a skeleton fly over the audience in the theater). Nathaniel Tolle really knows his film history and it shows with the random trivia he sprinkles throughout the book.

Unfortunately, I have to take this to a more negative place now because as much as I would love to gush about the book and gloss over this one thing, I really can't. I was extremely disappointed to see Clownhouse included in Pumpkin Cinema, given the director's (Victor Salva) past, but at least Nathaniel acknowledges it. I didn't know about it when I bought the DVD around 10 years ago (they actually stopped selling it for a while, I'm sad to see it back on Amazon now), I just knew it was a movie I used to watch when I was a kid and I liked it. But I was reading the message board on IMDB (remember when those still existed?) one day and I learned that Victor Salva was convicted  of sexual misconduct with the 12 year old star of Clownhouse. He videotaped the encounter. And he only spent 15 months in prison. So yeah, after I read that, I got rid of the DVD, as well as my copy of Jeepers Creepers. It's beyond me that Hollywood still allows this man to work. He wasn't just accused of these crimes, he was actually convicted. He plead guilty. He's a horrible, disgusting person. I really don't want this post to become about that man, but I sincerely advise people not to watch any of his films, especially Clownhouse. There are some scenes in that movie that become really disturbing once you know what Victor Salva did to that boy. I know people say to "separate the art from the artist" and as a fan of Lovecraft's work, I understand that concept, to a degree, but when the "art" is a representation of his very real crimes, that becomes impossible.

That aside, I really did enjoy Pumpkin Cinema. As someone who loves Halloween, this book made me really happy. And Nathaniel Tolle has amazing taste in Halloween movies. I also now have an entire list of movies I've never seen before that I want to watch this October. I hope one day he'll write another book with more recent films, and others that didn't make the cut this time around.

The Monster Squad

Disclaimer: This film was released in the 80's and it is not politically correct, at all. Some things will make you cringe. If you're able to put that aside and remember that it's a product of a really weird decade, it's a lot of fun.

The Monster Squad is about a group of kids who really like monsters. They spend their time in school drawing them ("spider with human head") and their time after school in a tree house, talking about them. It's all fun and games until one day, Sean's mom gives him Van Helsing's diary, which she found while browsing at a GARAGE SALE. Someone interested in buying the diary calls and leaves a message for Sean, with his name, Alucard. Sean is a clever kid and almost immediately realizes that "Alucard" is "Dracula" spelled backwards. He gathers his friends to tell them that monsters are real and they're the only ones who can stop them. Teaming up with "Scary German Guy" and Frankenstein's monster, they'll have to fight Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Mummy and "Gill-man" (aka The Creature from the Black Lagoon).

At times, The Monster Squad is so 80's it hurts, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing (except for some of the more questionable dialogue throughout the movie). It's like stepping into a time warp. A really fun time warp. There are some great one-liners (I was going to include my favorites, but that would have been 90% of the script) in this film and some insults you would only hear from that decade (or Saved by the Bell, so maybe early 90's, too). The other thing I love about this movie being made in the 80's is that CGI wasn't used for everything back then, so practical FX were used for the monsters and they look beautiful (in a really grotesque, horrifying way).

If you can get a copy of the 20th anniversary edition of the DVD, I highly recommend it. The special features are nice, especially the commentary with the cast members. They offer a lot of insight into the making of the movie and sometimes, it almost feels like you're watching an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 because they do mock some of the more absurd parts of the movie (in a very loving way, of course).

Who would like this film: If you're a fan of monster mashups (like Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein or Penny Dreadful) and Stranger Things, The Monster Squad is the movie for you. It's meant to be a comedy, but I wouldn't recommend it to kids under the age of 10. There are some genuinely scary moments that will probably traumatize younger children.

1. Harold (Scary Stories 3 - More Tales to Chill Your Bones)

I don't even think I need to explain why Harold took the top spot, do I? Look at him. A scarecrow that comes to life and peels the skin off his owner? No thanks.

I know Harold is a scarecrow, not a doll. But it's all the same to me and I've had a fear of dolls ever since I was a kid. Here's a bit of backstory. My parents separated when I was five-years-old and my dad lived in an apartment above my grandmother's house. I was spending the night there, and my aunt and cousins were downstairs. My dad went up to bed and left me downstairs with his evil family, who were watching The Twilight Zone. It was The Living Doll episode. All the lights were out. And once it was over, I had to go up the stairs, in the dark, after watching that damn doll trip someone down a staircase, my family yelling after me, "Watch out for Talky Tina!"I hated that doll and I hated my family. I had nightmares about dolls for years. One Christmas, my mom, for some reason I will never understand, bought me two dolls. I was afraid of them. I was afraid not to sleep with them and I was afraid if I did sleep with them and one was next to me, the other one would feel slighted and kill me. I wish I could say I was making this up, but I'm not.

So yes. Harold is the only story that could possibly take the #1 spot here. It's not because I like the story, it's because this is the scariest story in all three books and it earned its spot at the top of my list.

2. The Drum (More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

The Drum isn't a particularly scary story, but there's something about it that stayed with me.

Two sisters were wandering around outside when they came across a girl with a drum. They desperately wanted the drum, so the girl made a deal with them: If they went home and behaved really badly, she would give it to them. This went on for several days, each time the girl encouraged the sisters to act much worse. Their mother threatened to leave them if they kept acting out.

Finally, one day after they were extremely horrible, they met the girl again to tell her all the things they had done. The girl revealed that she had never intended to actually let them have the drum. The sisters were very upset. When they went home, their mother was nowhere to be found. Instead, there was a woman with glass eyes and a wooden tail.

If you have kids and you want them to behave, just tell them this story. That should calm them down.

3. The Babysitter (Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

The Babysitter was the first urban legend I'd ever heard and it's still my favorite. It's about a babysitter (obviously) who keeps receiving weird phone calls from a man who is counting time down, but she doesn't know what happens when time is up. Finally, she calls the operator to find out who is making these calls to her and when the operator calls back, she's told the calls are coming from upstairs and to get out of the house. As she's about to take the children outside, a door opens and she sees a man making his way down the stairs.

Suggested watching: When a Stranger Calls. The original, not the remake. The first 20 minutes of that movie are so intense and terrifying. I honestly didn't like the rest of the movie, but it's worth watching for the opening.

4. The Hook (Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

I feel kind of bad, but this won't be the last urban legend to appear on this list. These were my favorite stories growing up and I had to include all of them.

In The Hook, a couple are parked on a hill after their date at the movies. The boy turned the radio on and the couple heard an announcement that a murderer, with a hook for a hand, escaped from a local prison. The girl was scared and wanted to go home, and the boy reluctantly agreed to leave. When they were about to drive away, the girl heard something scratching at her door. Eventually, they arrived at her house and when the boy got out to open the car door for her, he saw a hook hanging on the door handle.

This is a really popular urban legend that's probably been adapted a million times, but there's an episode of Daria called "Legends of the Mall" that parodies it and I recommend it if you're into that sort of thing.

5. High Beams (Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

Have you seen the movie Urban Legend? If not, watch the first 15 minutes or so. It's the scariest part of the film and it's based on this legend.

A girl was driving home alone at night and she noticed a truck following her. The driver began to flash their high beams on and off at her and she started to panic, not knowing what they wanted. When she finally pulled into her driveway and yelled for her parents to call the police, the man in the truck got out, carrying a gun in his hand. He explained to the police that in the back seat of the girl's car, there was a man with a knife. Every time the man sat up to attack her, he would flash his high beams so the man would duck back down.

I love stories like this because they could happen. They probably have happened. Urban legends have to start somewhere, right? Always check your back seat before you get in the car.

6. The Wendigo (Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

You know, I had no idea what a wendigo was when I was younger, so when I read this story, I really wasn't interested in it. After playing Until Dawn, I learned what they are (cannibalistic creatures) and now I can finally appreciate it.

The Wendigo is about a man who went hunting in Northern Canada, with a Native American as his guide. In their tent, they heard a windstorm, but when the hunter looked outside, everything was calm. Listening closely, he could hear the wind calling his guide's name. The guide was noticeably upset and ran from the tent, leaving the hunter alone. In the morning, he followed the guide's footsteps in the snow, but they abruptly stopped, as if he disappeared into thin air. The hunter left, only to return a year later. The guide was never found and the people at the trading post said maybe the wendigo got him. And there's a bit of a "twist" ending.

7. One Sunday Morning (More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

A woman was running late for Sunday morning mass and took off in a hurry to get to church. When she arrived, she didn't recognize anyone there, except for a woman who died a month earlier. Looking closer, she noticed skeletons in suits and dresses. They were angry and the woman she recognized told her to leave, if she cares for her life. She grabbed her coat and made her way over to the door, hearing footsteps behind her. She started to run, but the corpses grabbed at her, tearing off her coat and hat. She escaped, wondering if it had all been a dream. Later on that day, one of her friends returns her ripped coat and hat, which had been found in the cemetery.

I think the idea of this story is genuinely frightening. What if you were to trespass on something you weren't meant to see? It doesn't have to be a service for the dead, it could be anything. Wrong place, wrong time. That's why One Sunday Morning made my list. Even though this particular instance isn't likely to happen, there are other situations that could end the same way.

8. The Window (More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

The Window is about three siblings (a sister and two brothers) who lived in a house on a hill. One night, the sister was looking out her bedroom window and she saw two small lights moving near the graveyard by the woods. Then the lights began moving closer to the house. As she watched, she noticed it somewhat resembled a man and became very frightened. "She wanted to run from her room. But the door was next to her window. She was afraid the creature would see her and break in before she could escape."

That's all you really need to know about The Window. That quote. It's the reason I don't look out my bedroom window at night. I don't want to know what's out there, and I don't want it knowing I'm in here either.